Actually I wasn't feeling quite well these few months. I need a break to sort out my thoughts on a lot of issues. I can't seem to answer them. Maybe I am just tired, maybe I needed a break. I don't know why I am blaming God for all the stuff that I can't figured out.
These are the thoughts Grace struggle with:
1) Why did You want me to go HTM when I don't even do well? And why JPSAE where I am so tied down?
2) Why band? Why band? Why make me take up flute when I can't even play it well?
3) Why must I be the one? Why did You choose me in the first place? I am not even faithful at all!
4) Why must I take up responsibilities where people are not claiming it?
5) Why am I not made smarter? Why am I not good in my studies?
6) Why do I have to go through so many stuff where people don't have to?
7) Why do you make me someone who is being compared. I know I can't do things well, then why am I here?
I am not perfect but people are moulding me to be one. I just feel that people are impressing too much of what they want me to be and to be the person they want me to be. I just feel that mistakes are not allowed. I need to grow you know, I need a space to grow.
I need to know the answers to what I ask Lord, I need to know. I am at the edge. I am falling. I need You to tell me that You've the answer Lord. Please don't be faraway when I need You now. Don't forsake me when the storm is just ahead of me.
Gracie is walking and stumbling
